Naked Deaf Man on a Bike
Where I used to live before I got married I was the only one that had the whole ground floor so I don’t have to share with anyone.
Funny thing about my place was that my bedroom was down the hallway so it wasn’t connected to rest of my place, I always made sure I’d lock my living room door and walk down hallway to my bedroom to sleep.
Don’t want to find that old guy sitting in my living room watching tv!
When I was a postman I had finished my delivery round and quickly got undressed in front of my washing machine do to being soaked by the rain shut the living room door and ran into my bedroom to find that I forgot to take my keys with me.
Shit I am locked out of my bedroom and living room!
There I was standing in hallway in my underpants!
My mobile phone is on the coffee table too so I couldn’t text mum also at the top no one will be home till after 5pm so if they were in I could use their phone.
I did not want to be standing in hallway for 6 hours .
So I went out front door to walk round the back to grab my bike.. It took me half an hour to hobble as the gravel was razor sharp stones.
Rather than ride out on the front, as it’s a busy main road where everyone can see me I rode out the back then I only have to get across the road into telephone box.
What I hadn’t bargained for cycling through alleyway a bus pulled up (bus stop at end of alleyway) full of passengers seeing a man cycling in underpants while pissing down with rain going toward them! How bloody embarrassing, But it did not end there.
I quickly got round the bus crossed the road to a phone box.
A woman was in the phone box sheltering from the rain, cos she was not using it I asked her can I use the phone!
God knows what she thought as she did not hang about!
Only phone number I can remember off my head was my mums and she could not stop chocking with laughing on the phone!
She managed to mutter that my sister will be finishing school on lunch break and she should be passing.
I had forgotten that my sister and her friend use my place to drop school bags save them carrying them around town when they go to McDonald’s etc, and she will have a key.
So I jumped on my bike and cycled toward where she should be walking down.
Her friends who thought us deafies are simple minded (see my other post) were the first to spot me said , “ Is that your brother on a bike with no clothes on?”
She just came off mobile cos mum has warned her there is a strange man cycling about.
I snatched the key off her and her friend said “why have you no clothes on?”
With my demented look I told them that I didn’t want to get my clothes wet!
Jaysus wept! I never laughed so much at your story there. Barbie doll and then action man! Perfect pairing of the stories. More more….
@Tony B,
Thanks for your comments plenty more to come
I wonder if this post makes it to DeafRead as I haven’t seen it shown up yet its not a Wardrobe Malfunction
It’s on deafread extra feed… reduced to “light relief” status I assume
I’ve always said the American version of deaf.blog (UK), was more what people preferred, the apolitical as averse to the “I brushed my teeth this morning” input we had in the UK! (Anyone know when the UK version is going to get its act together ?or have they given up on the e-mail based thing ?).
MM,
I couldn’t check at work as DeafRead is blocked at work.
Deaf.Blog is up and running see http://deafuk.org/
I wasn’t aware there is another UK blog aggregator. I don’t remember signing up to that one.
MM, I see your blog made the front page of Deafread.com - categorised as “Audism” - LOL!
@Tony B
You wrote “I wasn’t aware there is another UK blog aggregator”
You do read Deaf-UK-Chat don’t you
I know Tone
if you want to get ahead, get audist that’s my motto lol ! seriously, the Americans love having a go at it, keeps them amused for months….. (It’s exposing the hypocracy that’s my excuse)… I don’t know how they catagorise blogs at deafread frankly, I’ve been listed under Technology, Audism, and of course deaf CULTURE including a blog catagorised under BSL (I had to point out it actually wasn’t and got it removed 
), wouldn’t do to offend that sector….
MM,
Now that I am home I am able to look at DeafRead.
As you assume that it reduced to light relief i cant understand why the barbie one got to best of deaf read and not the naked Deaf man one?
I just don’t get it so it shows what suits them really.
Americans prefer to see waves lapping on the sea shore lolol……
Sorry to post comments off topic Fintan, but I couldn’t see an e-mail link and I wanted to make sure you knew that I read your post about BBC iPlayer on my blog and that I couldn’t agree more with the points about accessibility you made.
I would be delighted if you could write a more detailed review of your experience as a deaf user of the service, that I might reprint on my blog too - as I’m currently embroiled in an escalating battle to bring the BBC to account for the failings in this service, via my MP, various government ministers she has put me in contact with and Mark Thompson, the director general himself.
I was struck by an e-mail from a partially sighted gentleman which featured on Steve Gibson’s Security Now podcast about so-called capcha tools which are supposed to stop spammers from registering on forums and other sites, which actually make it impossible for millions of people around the world to complete sign-up procedures on members only sites because their screen reader software can’t identify the characters.
It reminded me, in my part-time capacity as something of a web site designer and all round internet nerd, that turning away people simply because they have different requirements, is not only grossly unfair but hugely expensive in terms of lost eyes-on-screen adverting and audience participation - something you’d presume the BBC should be concerned with now more than ever in the age of daily losses in viewer numbers and increasing calls for the scrapping of the license fee.
Anyway - thanks for getting touch. Let’s blog!